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MARKETS

Nasdaq

20,794.64

-0.73%

S&P

6,343.72

-0.40%

Dow

45,216.14

+0.11%

10-Year

4.342%

-10.0 bps

Bitcoin

$67,893.09

+1.97%

Fannie Mae

$7.36

+54.30%

Data is provided by

*Stock data as of market close, cryptocurrency data as of 10:00pm ET. Here's what these numbers mean.

Markets: Stocks continued to be as volatile as a Real Housewife after too many margaritas yesterday, starting the day moving upward, but ending mixed as oil prices jumped.
A bump from Bill: Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac soared yesterday after billionaire investor Bill Ackman called them “stupidly cheap” in an X post.

SAVING PRIVATE ASSETS

Riskier options may be coming to your 401(k) soon

Getty Images

When you can start golfing full time might soon hinge on the earnings of OpenAI, local carwashes, and other businesses bankrolled by private credit and private equity funds. Yesterday, the Labor Department proposed a rule that’d make it easier for employer-sponsored retirement accounts to invest in alternative assets alongside stocks and bonds.

The rule is a response to President Trump’s August executive order aimed at democratizing access to private markets by reducing the legal risks associated with their inclusion in 401(k)s. Currently, these assets are available only to pro investors and large pension funds.

The $12 trillion in Americans’ 401(k)s could turbocharge growth in private markets—but critics worry the change comes as the asset class is in turmoil.

Private for the people?

The proposed rule—which has not yet been finalized—would shield employers from getting dragged to court by retirees unhappy their cash was plugged into alternative investments. Previously, a slew of lawsuits pushed 401(k) managers to stick to stock and bond funds with low fees and options to cash out quickly.

While reducing the litigation threat, the rule would still require employers to consider the funds’ performance, fees, liquidity, valuation, and complexity. Proponents of the change say that it would help workers diversify their portfolios—including through investments in innovative companies that increasingly choose to stay private.

But some experts caution that private assets aren’t a great fit for workers’ piggy banks:

They note that private markets are less liquid than stocks and bonds, while delivering lower returns in recent years.
Wealth Manager Josh Brown told CNBC he thinks “there’s no way” 401(k) managers can negotiate the low fees enjoyed by large investors buying into private markets.

Plus, private credit is currently floundering…as investors rush to yank their cash from these funds amid fears that AI is undermining the software companies they’ve lent to. Several funds have limited cashouts in recent weeks, adding to the perception that there is reason for concern.—SK

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WORLD

Tour de headlines

Nathan Howard/Getty Images

 Trump threatens Iran’s energy infrastructure unless deal is reached “shortly.” President Trump said in a Truth Social post yesterday that unless the Strait of Hormuz is immediately reopened, the US would respond by “completely obliterating” all of Iran’s electricity plants, oil wells, and the oil hub Kharg Island, as well as possibly water desalination plants. Following Trump’s remarks, West Texas Intermediate futures, which represent US oil prices, settled above $100 for the first time since the war began. The price, $102.88 a barrel, marked the highest it had settled at since July 2022, though it fell in evening after the WSJ reported that Trump told aides he was willing to end the war without reopening the strait.

Powell doesn’t expect rate hikes will be needed because of oil shock. Speaking to students at Harvard University yesterday, Fed Chair Jerome Powell said that although energy prices are rising due to the war in Iran, it probably won’t force the central bank to hike interest rates to curb inflation. He noted that such price shocks are usually short-lived and that the Fed’s tactics typically won’t take effect until they’re already over, so changing rates in response to them would only make sense if the price spikes cause the public to start expecting higher prices over time. Financial markets seemed reassured by the remarks and traders stopped pricing in a significant chance of a rate increase this year, per CNBC.

Reclusive billionaire sells food supply business to Sysco for $29 billion. Sysco, the name you probably know from school or hospital cafeterias, is acquiring Jetro Restaurant Depot, a restaurant supply business that its 94-year-old founder Nathan “Natie” Kirsh grew from a single Brooklyn warehouse into a 166-store powerhouse in 35 states. Jetro’s model cuts out delivery costs, making its supplies more affordable for smaller restaurants. The combined company will be one of the largest food supply businesses in the US.—AR

LOST IN TRANSLATION

Air Canada’s CEO will retire after language outcry

Nick Lachance/Getty Images

Air Canada announced yesterday that CEO Michael Rousseau will be departing before the end of the third quarter. The decision comes one week after Rousseau offered condolences almost entirely in English following a crash at LaGuardia Airport that killed two Air Canada pilots.

To translate that…Despite Canada officially being a bilingual nation (French and English), and the airline being based in French-speaking Quebec, Rousseau doesn’t speak French. His video message after the incident began with a “bonjour,” ended with a “merci,” and was subtitled in French—but he otherwise spoke in English. One of the pilots who died in the crash, Antoine Forest, was from Quebec and spoke French.

An Air Canada spokesperson said Rousseau stepping down is unrelated to the language fallout, but the announcement came amid intense backlash.

The blowback: The Office of the Commissioner of Official Languages of Canada said it received 1,800 complaints about Rousseau’s video. That doesn’t include the one from Prime Minister Mark Carney, who publicly said Rousseau showed a lack of compassion and judgment.

Language barrier: When Rousseau took the CEO job in 2021, the company said he was taking intensive French training—and that his language skills would be part of his annual evaluation.

Bottom line: Air Canada’s stock fell hard after the announcement and closed 2% down for the day.—DL

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SKIN IN THE GAME

The internet doesn’t trust Alix Earle’s skincare angle

Reale Actives

TikTok “It Girl” Alix Earle became a founder today with the launch of her own skincare brand, Reale Actives, and while we could all just be grateful that we’re not getting another influencer-backed energy drink, critics still have a major qualm with Earle’s products.

Selling point: On top of her conventional GRWM (“get ready with me”) content, Earle gained a following as a University of Miami student because of how openly she posted about her experience with cystic acne. Earle said she worked with a dermatologist to create Reale Actives, which she credits with finally clearing up her skin after spironolactone and three rounds of Accutane didn’t cut it.

Though that’s quite an alleged accolade, many internet users saw Earle’s Accutane and spironolactone usage as proof that her new products might not be solely responsible for getting rid of her acne. In response, she posted a video for her 8.3 million TikTok followers, chronicling her skin journey before and after Reale Actives. “If you believe me, you believe me. If you don't, whatever,” she said.

Looking ahead…Reale Actives is only sold on its own website—for now. (A bottle of her acne serum lists for $39.) The brand is backed by the same VC firm as Kim Kardashian’s Skims, which struck its first retail partnership five months after launching.—ML

STAT

Prime number: $10m heist in less than 3 minutes

Niv Bavarsky

Authorities say that thieves recently made off with three paintings worth a combined $10 million from an Italian museum in less time than it takes to prepare a serving of Easy Mac (although, microwaving pasta would also be considered a crime in Italy).

The night of March 22, thieves forced open a door of the Magnani Rocca Foundation, a private museum outside Parma, and snatched “Fish” by Auguste Renoir, “Still Life with Cherries” by Paul Cézanne, and “Odalisque on the Terrace” by Henri Matisse—all in less than three minutes. The museum said the robbery was the work of a “structured and organized” gang who would have likely taken even more art if an alarm had not gone off.—AR

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NEWS

What else is brewing

Airport security lines got much shorter yesterday after TSA employees began receiving backpay for their work during the partial government shutdown.
Nasdaq is shortening the amount of time companies with big market caps have to wait between listing and being included in its Nasdaq 100 index, potentially clearing a path to fast-track SpaceX into the index after it debuts.
Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth’s broker tried to make investments in major defense companies in the lead up to the Iran war, the Financial Times reported yesterday. The Pentagon denied the report.
March Madness update: The women’s Final Four is set, with UConn, UCLA, Texas, and South Carolina—the same four as last year—to play.
The Delaware judge Elon Musk accused of being biased against him said she would reassign the cases she had been overseeing that involve him to avoid unnecessary media attention.
The founder of a wellness company that promoted “orgasmic meditation” was sentenced to nine years in prison on forced labor charges.
Blackpink’s Lisa will be the first K-Pop artist to have a Las Vegas residency with shows in November at the Colosseum at Caesars Palace.

RECS

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PLAY

Brew Mini: Today’s puzzle is called “Greetings,” and we bet you can finish it faster than your coworker can get to the point of why they stopped by to talk. Play the Mini here.

Colorful trivia

Happy National Crayon Day! What were the original eight colors in the first box of Crayola Crayons in 1903?

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ANSWER

Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, violet, brown, and black, according to the company.

Word of the Day

Today’s Word of the Day is: accolade, meaning “an award or privilege granted as a special honor.” Thanks to Sally from Memphis for honoring us with the suggestion. Submit another Word of the Day here.

✢ A Note From Green Coffee Company

This is a paid advertisement for Green Coffee Company’s Regulation CF offering. Please read the offering circular at https://invest.greencoffeecompany.com/. Timelines are subject to change. Listing on the Nasdaq is contingent upon necessary approvals, and reserving a ticker symbol does not guarantee a company’s public listing.

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