Wealthsimple

August 31, 2026

In This Issue

8 min read

Dolly’s wisdom

Apple’s secretive new CEO

Hair gel’s new price tag

Tariffs are about to drive up operational costs for in-demand stylists like Edward — collateral damage from a trade war that he’ll have to pass on to his Scissorhands clientele. We explain below. | 20th Century Studios/Disney

What are the best money lessons you’ve ever learned?

We want to know! Send them to us in the feedback module below, or shoot us an email at . We might share a few of our favourites in an upcoming issue.

The Week in Markets

And now, inevitably, the SaaS-urrection.

Remember a few months ago when the entire software industry was toast? Like so many apocalypses before it, the so-called “SaaSpocalypse” — a term used to describe the swift and impending ruin that AI would unleash on “software as a service” behemoths like Salesforce, Intuit, Adobe, et al. — turned out to be nothing more than a fun word to say for a few days. Salesforce, in fact, the SaaS-iest of them all, shared Q2 earnings last week that surged past expectations, and the reason why was its implementation of the very AI technology — supplied by Anthropic, in this case — that was supposed to replace Salesforce. Meanwhile, Blackrock’s $IGV ETF, which tracks the major software companies and was the dog of the Dow for much of 2026, has also stormed back and edged into the green.

What changed so fast? This summary by TLDR fave Brent Donnelly is so sharp we’re just going to hand him the mic: “The market has logically concluded that no large organization is going to deploy a bunch of autonomous agents to replace their software. The whole premise was out of control and it’s a good example of how markets can be grossly inefficient due to fear and greed. Fear, in this case.”

TSX:	-0.4% (+14.9% YTD)

S&P 500:	+0.8% (+12.4% YTD)

One Chart That Explains Everything

Superlatives of the Week

Most sobering list of soon-to-be pricey products: The chart above says it all. We’re in a full-blown trade war! And, barring a sudden détente, Canada’s retaliatory tariffs will kick in on Sept. 8 and affect hundreds of U.S. goods. The Globe and Mail published a handy explainer on the biggest consumer categories that will be subject to counter tariffs (likely resulting in price hikes for Canadians!) after Labour Day. What’s on the list? Hair-care products stand to rise sharply, with a 50% tariff affecting some $347.6 million worth of imports. Metal furniture — about $258 million worth of products — also faces a 50% tariff. Ditto clothing, computer monitors, and golf clubs.

Most impressive flex by AI’s reigning champion: Nvidia hauled in US$96.22 billion last quarter — and offered a swaggering projection of 70% revenue growth in 2028 (take that, AI-boom doomers). And how did Wall Street respond? Investors have long worried that Jensen Huang’s US$5-trillion super-mega-cap is the lone Jenga block holding up a wobbling skyscraper and that chipmakers like Nvidia might not always be the big AI winners. Hence investors’ tepid reactions to the company’s previous four earnings beats. This time, though, Nvidia’s results overwhelmed all those worries, and helped the company add $442 billion to its market cap on Thursday — the second-biggest one-day gain in history.

—Jenna Benchetrit

Big Number or Small Number?

⬆️⬇️ $17.1 billion

Meta’s 10-year payout to settle accusations that it purposely hooked teens on its platforms sure sounds like a very big number, especially relative to what Volkswagen (US$14.7 billion) and Enron (US$7.2 billion) paid to settle their lawsuits. Then again, Big Tobacco settled a similar addiction-themed lawsuit in 1998 for US$206 billion — US$422B in today’s dollars — over 25 years. Meta was facing penalties as high as US$1.4 trillion, the size of its entire market value. Meanwhile, its Q2 revenue alone was US$60.8 billion. And that’s how US$17.1 billion starts to seem like an awfully small number.

From Our Sponsor

The FOMO Index

by Stacey Woods

Important

Toronto mayoral candidate suggests renaming Trump’s home state “Province of New York.” Please, sir, leave the petty insults to the master.
Source

New friction-maxxing app makes your texts travel at the speed of carrier pigeons. Or you could just stick with Rogers.
Source

Scientists for NASA figure out how to turn microplastics into cookies. “Big deal, we’ve always done that,” says SnackWell’s.
Source

Loblaw returns country-of-origin stickers to groceries. People deserve to know who’s overcharging them for cherries.
Source

Crash & Burn

To the Moon

Mac and cheese powder spills onto Quebec highway after truck crash. Fortunately, no actual cheese was harmed.
Source

Second-grade teacher creates a classroom “fart corner” so class runs more smoothly. And if that’s not enough, there’s always private tootering.
Source

Richmond Hill ceramics guild joins OnlyFans. Subscribe to unlock the kiln and see some jugs.
Source

Newly discovered snake species has been named after guitarist Slash. That’s good; there aren’t enough snakes named “Saul.”
Source

Who Cares?

The Big Important Story

Person of Interest: Meet Apple’s New Man-of-Mystery CEO

Illustration by Palesa Monareng

The business world produces some, let’s say, interesting characters. Earlier this month, we told you about 24-year-old Rubik’s-Cube-enthusiast Leopold Aschenbrenner, who vapourized US$35 billion with leveraged AI bets. This week let’s meet someone who’s far more discreet but more consequential: John Ternus, the incoming CEO of Apple. He’s a hardware guy who worked his way up the tech giant’s ladder over 25 years, and he’s got some even taller challenges ahead when he ascends to the No. 1 job on Sept. 1.

At the top of the list: Apple hasn’t delivered a new world-upending product on par with the iPod or iPhone in many years. Ternus’s mandate is to fix that, fast, while preserving that classic Apple slickness on a company that just turned a dad-bod 50. Is he up to the job? Hard to say! He keeps an almost comically low profile, so we dug up every detail we could find about him to get a sense of what the future might hold. Here’s what we definitely (probably) know:

He’s from California. Orange County, specifically.

He’s definitely Gen X. When Apple announced him as its next CEO, nobody could figure out how old he was … until it was revealed, in an April regulatory filing, that he was born in May 1975. Which makes him 51.

He might be married. Ternus once wore a wedding band during a presentation; beyond that, there’s no public information about his family (assuming the ring wasn’t a ploy to make us think he has a family).

He likes making cars go vroom. Sounds like Ternus might be married … to his Porsche, which he rally-races on California’s Laguna Seca racing circuit. He reportedly drives a 1:40 lap, which ain’t too bad for an amateur.

He’s a “man of the people.” One former boss noted that Ternus has declined a private office since the mid-2000s, choosing instead to sit with his team in a shared space. He’s also known for working directly with engineers on products, rather than delegating through middle managers. Getting in the weeds helped him notch a long list of wins, including the iPhone Air, the iPad, AirPods, and Apple Watches.

He beefed with Jony Ive. Ternus famously fought for (and achieved!) better product performance after standards slipped in the 2010s, when Apple’s obsession with thinness resulted in slow-running gear. (Ternus is said to have gone tête-à-tête with famed designer Ive, the man behind Apple’s minimalism, more than a few times.)

He might not differ all that much from Tim Cook. Outgoing CEO Cook is a shrewd businessman who built a world-class supply chain, but he lacked a twinkle-in-the-eye innovative streak à la Steve Jobs. Ternus, similarly, is known more as a shepherd of other people’s ideas than an innovator. But, hey, he hasn’t even started yet! Let’s give the guy a chance.

—Jenna Benchetrit

Money Lessons From Dolly Parton

She was the Queen of Country, sure — but she was also a dang savvy businesswoman and a US$450-million empire builder whose portfolio included a record label, a much-beloved theme park, restaurants, and hotels — plus lucrative branding deals for clothing, jewelry, cake mixes, and fried-chicken batter. She even co-produced the Buffy the Vampire Slayer TV series! Dolly! And, of course, Dolly being Dolly, she talked about money just as wisely as she made it. Here are our favourite Parton pearls:

On music royalties: “My songs are like my children — I expect them to support me when I’m old.”
On launching her own record label: “I thought, ‘I’ve made enough money. I can afford to invest a little in myself.’ ”
On philanthropy: “I don’t do it for attention. But look! I’m getting a lot of attention by doing it.”
On running a business: “I thank God for my failures. Maybe not at the time but after some reflection. I never feel like a failure just because something I tried has failed.”
On spending: “It takes a lot of money to look this cheap.”
On staying grounded: “I always count my blessings more than I count my money. I don’t work for money, never did.”
On work/life balance: “Don’t get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life.”

Thoughts on Today’s Issue?

Love it

Good

So so

This week’s newsletter contributors: Brennan Doherty (writer), Devin Gordon (writer), David Walters (writer), Stacey Woods (writer), Jenna Benchetrit (news writer), Ambrose Martos (fact checker), Maude Campbell (copy editor), Sara Black McCulloch (fact checker), Katie Noll (senior specialist, product engagement), Lauren Edwards (production coordinator), Matthew Karasz (markets editor), Jared Sullivan (senior editor), Peter Martin (senior editor), and Devin Friedman (editor-in-chief).

Disclosures: Contributors to this newsletter own shares in Nvidia.

Dolly Parton sources: NPR, AP, Just the Way I Am, Dolly on Dolly, Dream More, CBS News, Vanity Fair, etc.

TWIM: Total returns shown in local currency, via TradingView.

Wealthsimple Media Inc.
80 Spadina Ave Suite 400
Toronto, ON, M5V 2J4

Have questions? Contact us.

VIEW IN BROWSER

UNSUBSCRIBE

No purchase required. Contest begins on August 27, 2026 at 12:00am Eastern Time (ET) and ends on September 30, 2026 at 11:59pm ET. Open to Canadian residents who are age of majority in their province or territory of residence at the time of entry. 173,407 Prizes available to be won in Canada, consisting of: 5 Grand Prizes (Week 1: 1 x unfurnished condo at The Georgian (ARV: CAD$635,700); Week 2: 1 x unfurnished condo at The Georgian (ARV: CAD$783,900); Week 3: 1 x unfurnished condo at The Georgian (ARV: CAD$837,200); Week 4: 1 x unfurnished condo at Concord Canada House (ARV: CAD$699,900); Week 5: 1 x unfurnished condo at KING Toronto (ARV: CAD$1,454,990)); 173,402 Secondary Prizes, each consisting of either a cash prize ranging in value from CAD$3 to CAD$100 (173,252 available to be won) or a EQ3 Bird Swivel Chair (ARV: CAD$1,599) (150 available to be won). Cash prizes to be deposited into a Wealthsimple Chequing account only. The Contest features 5 weekly Draws, with 1 Grand Prize and Secondary Prizes available to be won in each Draw week. To enter for 500 entries into the contest, be a new or existing Wealthsimple Chequing client with a minimum account balance of CAD $1 and register for the Contest via the Monthly Millionaire page in the Wealthsimple app or on Wealthsimple’s website, or have previously registered for a prior iteration of Monthly Millionaire. Additional entries may be obtained via: (i) deposit/transfer funds to a Wealthsimple account; every CAD$1 of funding less withdrawal or transfer out balance equals 1 additional entry; (ii) refer a friend to open and fund a new Wealthsimple account with at least CAD$100; each qualifying referral equals 100,000 entries; (iii) set up qualifying direct deposit to your Wealthsimple Chequing account to double all entries for each applicable Draw; or (iv) by spinning the coin at the bottom of the Home page in the Wealthsimple app, for a randomized number of entries granted once per day and ranging from 5 to 50,000 entries. No purchase entry: enter via the essay method; first essay equals 500 entries, subsequent essays equal 1 entry. Limit of 300,000 entries per Entrant across all entry methods. Odds of winning depend on the total number of eligible entries received. Skill-testing question required. The Georgian and KING Toronto condos are pre-construction; anticipated occupancy February 2027 and July 2027 respectively, subject to change. Each Grand Prize is awarded by assignment of the applicable purchase agreement. As a condition of claiming, Grand Prize winners must establish they are legally entitled to acquire and own residential property in Ontario. Wealthsimple app and Chequing account required to receive a Prize; there are no fees associated with such account or app. Full rules and entry details available at wsim.co/monthlymillionaire.

TLDR is offered by Wealthsimple Media Inc. and is for informational purposes only. Any views expressed are those of the individual author and/or of Wealthsimple Media Inc., not of Wealthsimple Financial Corp or any of its other subsidiaries or affiliates. The content in TLDR is not investment advice, a recommendation to buy or sell assets or securities, nor any other kind of professional advice. TLDR is not a research report and should not serve as the basis for making investment decisions. Wealthsimple Media Inc. does not endorse any third-party views referenced in this content. When you invest, your money is at risk and it is possible that you may lose some or all of your investment. Past performance is not a guarantee of future results. Historical returns, hypothetical returns, expected returns and images included in this content are for illustrative purposes only. Always research before investing.

⭐ Dolly Parton, business icon