Wealthsimple

April 13, 2026

In This Issue

8 min read

Lunar lucre

Mythos mythology

Plumb jobs

Mario and Luigi are no dummies — they know that good plumbers make some serious coin. We explain below. | Universal Pictures

The Week in Markets

A very crude spring awakening

Beware the Ides of March, right? This one sure got bloody: March 2026, in fact, ranked near the bottom 10% of months this century for both the S&P and the TSX. Even gorier: bonds — typically a hedge in tumultuous times — sank too. But from a market perspective, that month-plus also served as an overdue gut check, weeding out the nervous and the over-levered, and setting the table for the mother of all bounces on even a whiff of good news. And then last week we finally got some. Who knows if the ceasefire will hold, but even a fragile pause was enough to rally the S&P back up to nearly flat on the year and pushed the TSX back to +6%. What did we learn? If March was bloodier than you expected, your portfolio was probably riskier than you realized. And if last week felt like a crazy windfall, same thing. Either way, that’s valuable information.

TSX:	+1.6% (+5.7% YTD)

S&P 500:	+3.3% (-0.6% YTD)

The Chart of the Week

Astronauts don’t go to the moon for the money. NASA astronauts are often elite fighter pilots with hard-science PhDs, and yet their salaries pale to those of high achievers in far less competitive (and far less dangerous) fields.

What Happened Last Week

Important

Anthropic claims its new model is scary strong. That just makes people want it more. Does any company illustrate the AI conundrum more vividly than Anthropic? Its new Claude model, Mythos, is apparently so good at identifying cybersecurity vulnerabilities that it broke out of its “sandbox,” posted stuff on obscure public websites, and even emailed an Anthropic researcher mid-sandwich break to flag that it had escaped. The company says it’s keeping Mythos on a tight leash, limiting access to some 40 companies, including Apple and JPMorgan Chase. But here’s the thing: the more menacing Claude sounds, the more enticing it becomes to investors. So is this proactive caution? Or “doom marketing”? Or both? Either way it’s bound to help a revenue run rate that already jumped from US$1 billion to US$30 billion in just 15 months.

$Anthropic is on a hall-of-fame pace. Even if the startup sustains only a fraction of its revenue growth through the year’s end, it would still be among the fastest runs ever — outpacing Open AI, Nvidia in 2023, and Facebook post-IPO.$

Sky-high oil might not be enough to fill the Texas-sized hole in Alberta’s budget. Such a giant chunk of Alberta’s provincial revenue — between 25% and 30% — comes from oil royalties that a $1 swing in crude translates to a $630 million swing for Alberta’s coffers. And right now the province is facing a projected $9.4-billion deficit, owing in part to weak prewar oil prices. Spiking oil prices from the Iran war will fill some of that gap, but West Texas crude would need to average about US$75 a barrel for the rest of the year for Alberta to break even. That could be a tall order if the ceasefire holds and prices retreat further.

Interesting

Amazon’s CEO just dropped a user’s manual for big dreamers. Last week CEO Andy Jassy published a strikingly human (for a CEO) investor letter, sprinkling in personal anecdotes (boyhood hockey with dad) and indie-pop shout-outs (The Beths!) in the service of sharing acquired wisdom about innovation — e.g., the path to success is often discursive and messy; don’t be timid during inflection points. It’s an engaging pep talk — and a not-so-thinly-veiled dig at Jassy’s critics who’ve grumbled about Amazon’s scattershot AI strategy.

What do Taylor Swift, Bad Bunny, and TLDR have in common? We’re all Webby nominees! (Different categories, but still.) The Webby Awards are sort of the Oscars of the internet. We won best business newsletter in 2024 — the first, and still only, for a Canadian media outlet — and we’re nominated again along with The Bulwark, CNN, and the Harvard Business Review. Help us win the fan-favourite category by casting your votes here before April 16.

—Claire Porter Robbins & Brennan Doherty

The FOMO Index

by Stacey Woods

Important

Netflix develops AI that can seamlessly remove things from movies and TV. Say they have no immediate plans to cut Ross out of Friends.
Source

Alberta exempts Kevin O’Leary’s AI data centre from environmental review. Guess that wine of his is better than it looks.
Source

The foldable iPhone appears to be on track for September release, at which time all other foldable phones must bow down to it.
Source

Research suggests becoming an expert birder can protect you from aging. Contradicts previous findings that you age every time you hear the word “birder.”
Source

Crash & Burn

To the Moon

Six Torontonians arrested for allegedly selling counterfeit money on Instagram. Shouldn’t have posted that “GRWM to defraud the government” reel.
Source

Cat found on truck likely travelled from Montreal Walmart to Ontario Walmart. Well what would you do if they were out of your favourite laser pointer?
Source

Nutella is going viral after jar was seen floating across cabin during moon mission. And now things have gotten pretty tense over at Tang.
Source

B.C. boy holds his fifth birthday party at recycling centre. It was fun, but they didn’t let you keep the loot bag.
Source

Who Cares?

The Big Important Story

Plumbing Is AI-Proof and in Demand. Time to Pick Up a Pipe Wrench?

In 2025, one of the Canadian industries with the largest rates of job growth was, of all things, utilities — as in plumbers, electricians, etc. An impressive 18,700 workers joined the field, a 12% jump over 2024. And yet that surge still hasn’t solved Canada’s plumber shortage. (Know what all those new data centres being built need? Plumbers!) As layoffs mount elsewhere, lots of folks are wondering if it’s time to ditch their keyboard or factory punch card for a pipe wrench. For insight, we spoke with Bob Baker, who runs Calgary-based Baker Plumbing, which his grandfather and father started in 1956, and who also hosts Banter With Baker on YouTube. The highlights:

The trades have become sexy all of a sudden, in part thanks to data centres. And because Alberta is so cold, it’s a very attractive place for them.

I was plumbing from the age of eight. But when I turned 18, I told my father I would never touch a wrench again. My high-school guidance counsellor had told me, “Dude, don’t settle. You’re smarter than this.” I bought that line and went to university to take kinesiology, but I dropped out because it was too intense. Then I took some computer programming and realized I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life in a cubicle. So I went back to plumbing. It’s been 32 years. A couple of my boys are now working with me.

Both of my boys make $120,000 to $150,000 per year. My pay is higher — probably double — because I run the show. We’re doing multiple millions a year in gross revenue. A third goes to wages, a third goes to material, and a third the company gets to keep and use to grow.

But it’s a grind. We work in uncomfortable environments. They’re very hot or very cold, and there are chemicals and gases that can be hazardous if you don’t handle them with care. And no building is made to be serviced properly, so you have to fold yourself into origami to fix whatever needs to be fixed. The money is fantastic, but you earn every nickel.

I think there’s going to be a big influx of people who are like, “I’m going to be a plumber for two years and make $150,000.” That’s not how it works. There’s a process, and you have to put in your dues. At first you’ll make $60,000 to $75,000 if you’re halfway decent.

A lot of people will leave the industry because it’s too difficult or the money is not as good as they’d hoped. But there’ll be plenty of work for those who stick it out.

This interview, by Marin Cogan, was edited for length and clarity.

The Big Read

⚓ The Broken System Stranding Shipping Crews in the Strait of Hormuz*

Faced with the prospect of a money-losing shipment, owners of some of the vessels currently bottlenecked in the Strait of Hormuz are simply abandoning their boats, according to this nightmarish report from Wired. As in: they’re cutting contact with the vessel and leaving the crew to figure out how to get home — and get paid — in a war zone. | WIRED

*This story is paywalled, which, yeah, is kind of annoying. But we think good journalism is worth paying for.

The Wisdom of X

What my phone sees when I check my portfolio

Thoughts on Today’s Issue?

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This week’s newsletter contributors: Brennan Doherty (writer), Devin Gordon (writer), Stacey Woods (writer), Ambrose Martos (fact checker), Ciara Rickard (copy editor), Maude Campbell (copy editor), Sara Black McCulloch (fact checker), Eva Grace Clement Cruz (specialist, product engagement), Setareh Sarmadi (senior editorial producer), Lauren Edwards (production coordinator), Matthew Karasz (markets editor), Jared Sullivan (senior editor), Peter Martin (senior editor), and Devin Friedman (editor-in-chief).

TWIM: Total returns shown in local currency, via TradingView.

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TLDR is offered by Wealthsimple Media Inc. and is for informational purposes only. Any views expressed are those of the individual author and/or of Wealthsimple Media Inc., not of Wealthsimple Financial Corp or any of its other subsidiaries or affiliates. The content in TLDR is not investment advice, a recommendation to buy or sell assets or securities, nor any other kind of professional advice. TLDR is not a research report and should not serve as the basis for making investment decisions. Wealthsimple Media Inc. does not endorse any third-party views referenced in this content. When you invest, your money is at risk and it is possible that you may lose some or all of your investment. Past performance is not a guarantee of future results. Historical returns, hypothetical returns, expected returns and images included in this content are for illustrative purposes only. Always research before investing.

🪠 Plumbers are flush